(From Wacky Rhymes)
“Your snoring’s truly horrible,”
My dear spouse said to me,
“Sometimes it sounds like wailing
From an out-of-breath banshee.
A force so strong it drags the bed
Each time that you inhale,
And all the neighbor’s pooches
Start to whimper, howl, and wail.
“When you exhale, the windows bow.
The drapes begin to flutter.
And when you get to dreaming?
Well, you start to moan and mutter.
“This lack of rest has wearied me
And made me sleepy-eyed.
Sometimes I try to wake you up
And turn you on your side.
“One time, when we went camping
And were sleeping in our tent?
Two grizzly bears came answering
The call that you had sent.
“The rare few times you stop, my dear,
I must admit that I’ve
Placed mirrors underneath your nose
To check that you’re alive.”
I said, “You make too much of this.
I snore—that I’ll admit.
But you over exaggerate.
It don’t bother ME a bit!”