Your Snoring

(From Wacky Rhymes)


“Your snoring’s truly horrible,”

My dear spouse said to me,

“Sometimes it sounds like wailing

From an out-of-breath banshee.


A force so strong it drags the bed

Each time that you inhale,

And all the neighbor’s pooches

Start to whimper, howl, and wail.


“When you exhale, the windows bow.

The drapes begin to flutter.

And when you get to dreaming?

Well, you start to moan and mutter.


“This lack of rest has wearied me

And made me sleepy-eyed.

Sometimes I try to wake you up

And turn you on your side.


“One time, when we went camping

And were sleeping in our tent?

Two grizzly bears came answering

The call that you had sent.


“The rare few times you stop, my dear,

I must admit that I’ve

Placed mirrors underneath your nose

To check that you’re alive.”


I said, “You make too much of this.

I snore—that I’ll admit.

But you over exaggerate.

It don’t bother ME a bit!”


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